usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nap time let me just say that i work in the gossipenist store ever. yeah, i know that isn't a word, so what. when i went in yesterday morning to tell them i was going home there were three of my team members standing by the time clock. one of them was a woman who lives in my neighborhood. they all said hope you feel better, don't give it to us as i went out the door. i came home, made my entry, called my doc's office for directions and promptly passed out. granted i awoke every so often with that squicky feeling but i was either in the bed or the bathroom for several hours. my doctor's appointment was at 2:45. being that it was my first appointment with her i had to be in by 2:30, plus i was going into the city and that alone causes minor anxiety issues, and, i was driving in an unfamiliar area, more anxiety issues. so i needed to leave like an hour before i had to be there so that i could try to not have a panic attack on the way. anyway, so i went to the doc's and came home and then last night around 7:30 i drove to the gas station down the street and put gas in the car so i wouldn't have to stop on my way to work this morning. when i got to work this morning one of my bosses came to me and said, so i heard you were feeling better yesterday afternoon? i'm like what? she said, i heard that you were out and about yesterday afternoon. i was like what the fuck (course i didn't phrase it quite like that) are you talking about. i said, i had a doctor's appointment in richmond yesterday afternoon but other than that i didn't leave my house. then she was like, oh, and walked away. later on the lady who lives in my neighborhood came to me and started joking with me about not working when nothing was wrong with me and it hit me that she must have seen me when i was either going to or from my doctor's appointment yesterday. so i asked her and she said yeah i saw you out driving yesterday. and i was like, so you're the one who told the boss that i was out and about yesterday afternoon. she was like yeah. bitch. mind your own business. i told her that i thought she had given the boss the wrong impression when she told her that she had seen me "out and about." i said, there is quite a difference in being out and about and in my car driving to a doctor's appointment. anyway, that's the way it's been in every retail place i've ever worked. everyone has to stay in everyone else's business all the time. drives me nuts. in other news i'm exhausted. i didn't sleep worth a shit last night. i was up and on time to work this morning but that's mostly because i couldn't sleep after about two am. tonight though i am armed with my new sleeping pills. i'm both excited about the prospect of getting a nice restful eight hours of sleep and terrified of taking the damn things. right now, i really need a nap. i can hardly keep my eyes open. i've been told that it's okay for me to indulge in my naps on occasion, as long as i don't turn them into hiding from the world sessions again. so i think i am going to indulge myself and nap for an hour or so. damn my fucked up sleeping habits. oh, and i took my second zoloft this morning. so far so good. no squicky side effects yet though they may not develop until the second or even third week. i could luck out and not get any squickiness at all (knock on wood) but we'll see. i'm out. toodles 5:15 pm - 16 Mar 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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