usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- crying for nothing my appointment with cathy last night went well. well, if you consider me crying through the entire thing well. i know that my s.a.d. (seasonal affective disorder) is in full swing right now and that is a lot of the reason the depression is so bad. i'm constantly cold to point where i'm shivering. i want to hybernate, i feel tired all day every day and all i want to do is sleep. the insomnia has a different opinion on the matter of course. hell, it's a chore to even force myself to shower at this point. i think if i could i would just lay down and hide under the covers for the next three months or so. however, that isn't really an option. i know in my head what the problem is. i know and yet i still feel the pain and the thoughts just keep coming and i can't turn them off. if i could just get my brain to be quiet for a little while. i fell asleep about eleven. i woke up at two on the dot. three hours. maybe if i stay up for a bit, playing some mahjong or something, i'll be able to sleep another hour or two. i know my diary probably isn't a lot of fun to read right now. but then, i guess most of you don't read it for fun, do you? i made an appoinment with the psychiatrist for the first of march. it was the soonest they could get me in. she is going to evaluate my current meds and probably end up changing me to something else. i will still go to cathy for my counseling sessions, dr. k. will simply be my med doctor. it's only tuesday. that's kind of sad. toodles 2:22 am - 25 Jan 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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