usmcsis's Diaryland Diary

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spring in january

it's the fourth day of january. january, as in, winter. it is like almost seventy degrees outside. it's a nice, windy, light seventy. it's like friggin springtime out there. it makes my head hurt.

in other news, on top of the fact that i already feel like shit in general, not to mention that my depression is taking me for a nice midwinter ride, i so needed to wake up this morning to discover that i started my period last night. thanks mother nature, for picking today to remind me that i'm single and alone and not destined to be a mother anytime in the near future. thanks.

i feel the need to leave the house. of course, i also feel the need to crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep. i'm not sure which need will win out. but, whichever one does, i can always do the losing one later.

i do have my gift cards still for the bookstore. i could go browse for a little while. but i'm so not sure that i want to leave the house which involves showering and dressing and putting in my contacts and then i have to find my sunglasses because the sun is actually out today for some unknown reason which is really pissing me off to tell the truth.

when i'm depressed i need sunshine, i crave it like it's a drug. but, when i'm depressed and the sun actually shines, i want it to go away so that i can continue to wallow in my mire of self-pity and other ickyness. actually, it's gorgeous outside today and if i were not in such a bad friggin mood i would be thrilled with the sunshine. but, i see no point in being in a good mood so i think i will go pull the covers back over my head and stay there for a while. maybe i'll go to the bookstore this evening, once it's dark.

toodles

1:19 pm - 04 Jan 2005

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