usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yes, i am drugged up junebug bit me and i started crying and now i can't stop. it's my fault she bit me and i didn't even realize that she had done it at first. i mean, i knew that she bit me because it hurt like a bitch and rvrn just a couple of minutes after it happened and i had bruises in the shape of her teeth on my finger. but her canine tooth (are they called canine teeth in the mouth of an actualy canine?) poked a nice fucking hole in my finger which, now thirty minutes later, is still bleeding like a bitch and that was one of those things like you cut yourself with a razor blade but it's so sharp that you don't realize you've been cut until it bleeds and then it hurts. i looked at my hand and blood was running down my finger and dripping off the end. then it hit me that it hurt like crazy. and it's totally my fault because i was fucking with her and she quit playing and got serious and i'm slow today and didn't realize it and pushed her too far and tried to take her treat away from her and she bit me. i'm a dumbass. and that's not even why i'm crying. i don't know why i am crying. i'm just sitting here typing this with tears running down my face and they won't stop. it's weird and kind of scary. i mean, my finger is still bleeding and i'm going to need a new bandaid here in a minute but it doesn't hurt anymore and it's not that. i can't remember whether or not i took my anitdepressant this morning. if i did, i threw up shortly thereafter so either way, i probably have little to no effexor in my system. ah, so i just solved the mystery of the weird-o tears all on my own. elementary my dear watson. now i have to get dressed and go to the store because i asked mama if she went anywhere today to please buy me some tissues and some toilet paper. i have used all but one roll of toilet paper in leu of tissues in the past two days. two fucking days and i've used like four rolls of toilet paper to blow my fucking nose. that amount of snot should be some kind of record. anyway, so of course, she went out but she didn't go to the store and daddy and i are both hungry but there is no soup left in the house, mama had the last of it. and there is nothing else we can eat and she's talking about she grabbed something while she was out. and i know she doesn't have to take care of me for the love of mike, i'm an adult, despite the fact that i am fucking sick as a dog, but daddy can't fend for himself. i mean, he's a man. anyway, we decided while she was gone that we're going to each take a swig out of the pepsi bottle that she keeps in the fridge. i don't like to think of it as vengeful, more like, family sharing. toodles 5:27 pm - 02 Jan 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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