usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- doing alright so it's three forty five in the morning and i have been awake for well over twenty four hours. and i just got home. but such is life. my cousin and i went with my dad and her mom to the funeral home today and they let us pick out the casket and the programs and visitor's book as well as the flower spray to go on the casket. it was very nice for us to get to have such a large part of the planning. we were the closest to her and they took that into consideration, plus, having us making some of the decisions is taking some of the pressure off of them. and i'm all for taking pressure off of the old man. he looks like he's aged ten years in one day. the funeral is tuesday afternoon. we'll have the viewing monday night. i suggested that we ask people to make donations to the american cancer association in lieu of flowers because 1) grandma survived several bouts with multiple types of cancer, and 2) i don't want to have to deal with a shit load of flowers afterwards. the second reason probably sounds course or something but i didn't phrase it quite that way when i brought it up to my cousin and the folks. i was a tad more tactful and gentle. missy and i (my cousin) are making some photo collage boards for the viewing. the funeral home supplied the boards and they will mat and frame them for us and display them on easels. so we went to the house to find grandma's old pictures and hit the jackpot big time. she was a picture taking machine. not to mention that she was a total packrat on top of that so she kept every picture she ever took or was ever given. some of the pictures were not in the best of shape so my brother suggested that we take them to his best friend who is a graphic artist to see if he could do anything with them. oh my friggin lord, that boy worked som serious magic. (i say boy but he's twenty five, but i've known him since he was four and he used to spend the night over here when he and will were in elementary school so he still qualifies as a boy to me.) the things he did to these pictures to correct the damage and enlarge them was beyond impressive. i doubt that grandma looked as good when the pictures were taken fifty years ago as she does now. there was one picture of my grandpa carrying her over the threshold when they got married and it was almost ripped in two and he fixed it and enlarged it and printed it out and you can't tell there was ever anything wrong with it. if he weren't married, and my brother's best friend, i think i'd have jumped him. i was that impressed. of course, it doesn't take a lot to impress me and i am kind of hard up. but anyway. so will and i got over to his house around ten or so and we've been there ever since. it has been a very long day. so tomorrow missy and i are taking grandma's dress and earrings to the funeral home. and a picture of her so that they can do her hair and makeup properly and make her look like herself and not some painted manakin. then we are going back to grandma's house to work on the picture boards. i have to find something to wear. which will probably involve shopping, which i like to do, but i prefer it involve shoes, purses, books, or dvd's, as opposed to a dress to wear to a funeral. we have to work on the obituaries with the funeral man too. we figure as long as we stay busy then we don't have time to sit around and mope and cry, because really, what good does it do? i mean, i am horribly hurt and sad that she is gone. we both are. like i said, the two of us were closer to her than any of the other grandchildren, mainly because we shared some of her interests, like working on the family tree and finding out more about our families geneology adn stuff. but, life goes on, whether you like it or not. you have to be able to function. i spent the entire last week doing nothing but grieving, well, and cleaning in preperation for this, but i have said my goodbye, i have cried my tears (though i'm sure i will again), but, funerals aren't for the deceased. i mean, sure, it is a way to pay respects and to preserve and celebrate the memory of your loved one, but funerals are for the living. grandma is gone on to where ever it is folks go and this funeral is for those of us left behind. missy and i want to make it the best we can in order to ease the pain of the people we love. and i think that is helping us deal with it much easier. at least i hope it is. so, it's now after four in the morning and i have to get up in three hours so i'm off to bed. thanks to everyone for the great notes and emails. they are greatly appreciated. each and every one has touched me. i'll be back tomorrow to post some the crazy antics of my insane family. it's always a little scary when a bunch of us gather in one place. that's why we try not to do it too often. toodles 3:45 am - 28 Nov 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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