usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- at least tomorrow isn't monday well, it's just about midnight and i was trying to add an entry but of course, the servers are overloaded. one of these days those damn servers are going to go on strike due to being overworked. they are going to picket and shout angry epitaths at us poor dlanders as we try to add a new entry or change our templates. they are going to demand better wages and more benefits, plus weekends off. and then what will andrew do? okay, so, it was monday at target today. definitely monday. it was so gorgeous this weekend and i woke up this morning to more rain. yay. rain. and it rained. all. freaking. day. long. and it is still raining. yay. we need more rain. you know, it's a miracle everyone in virginia isn't walking around covered in mildew with all the rain we've had. and it's supposed to be really ugly late tonight/early tomorrow. blah. so, yeah, it was monday at target today. i said that already didn't i? i'm writing this in notepad because for some reason word won't open and rather than press enter and stuff i am just typing one big ol' line of words. until i get to the end of a paragraph of course. then i press enter when i do my < p > but other than that, i'm typing in one big ol' line 'o' words and i can't see what i typed a few words back or whatever. so third time's a charm. today sucked. there, that's better. we weren't very busy which was nice because it gave me a chance to catch up on some paperwork. but then this afternoon we had a front end team lead meeting. it was not pretty. my boss is a nice guy. i like him a lot. i respect him. today, i wanted to strangle him with my bare hands. we seem to have this problem on the front end. there are five team leads, four of "them" and one of "me". apparently, the four of "them" have issues with "me" that nobody bothered to tell "me" about. and my boss is pissed off. there is a lot of rumormongering and backstabbing and such going on around the front end. and essentially it starts with the team leads. i have been known to gossip. i have been known to vent my anger and frustration with one team member to another team member when i shouldn't. i won't deny it. what kills me is that "they" all sat around the table today and denied it. oh, they all agreed when boss said to me, i'm going to be straight with you, they all have issues with you. fucking bitches all nodded their heads then. but when he started pulling out specific examples and calling them on it, and not just their issues with me either, he started calling them on comments they had made about each other too, oh they all denied that shit. gutless wenches. you fucking have a problem with the way i do my job, say it to my face. you have a problem with me personally, say it to my face. you do not go behind my back to my team members and attempt to poison them against me. you do not spread rumors about me and how i got my promotion. i worked for my fucking promtion goddammit! i deserved it. and i'll be damned if i let anyone say otherwise. boss knew that i was upset when i left. he is hoping that by shaking them up, causing them to start distrusting each other a bit, they will grow the fuck up and get over their petty issues. somehow, i seriously fucking doubt it. boss made me sit down with one of "them" a month or so ago because her animosity towards me had hit a point where i didn't even want to go to work. boss and one of my boss-ladies said that by sitting down with "her" and getting some of it out, things would get better between us. they were wrong. things have gotten worse. and boss knows it. he said it today in the meeting. gutless bitches wouldn't even look at me when he was talking, they all just stared straight ahead. but when he said, "you said this about her." pointing from one of them to another they shook their heads, "don't know what you're talking about boss." bullshit, you ass kissing little bitch. they just denied it in an attempt to keep the other "them's" from getting mad at them. i am so glad that i am off tomorrow. i am sick of them and i don't know what i'd do if i had to go in there and work with them tomorrow. i do have to go in for an hour or so tomorrow and do some pre-counts and stuff for my inventory on wednesday. but it won't be very long and i'll be back in the office area away from them. when i left today i was crying. stupid of me i know. but my feelings were really hurt. i thought that they were my friends and colleagues. i thought we got along alright. turns out they were just playing me and stabbing my back every time i turned around. i was halfway tempted to come home and start looking online for a new job. but i told myself that was dumb. i'll be goddamned if i let that group of snobs run me out of a job that i love and a job that i am fucking good at. plain and simple, half the problem is that they are jealous. our big big boss-lady loves me. she never walks my department when she comes in our store because she saus she doesn't have to, she knows it's going to be perferct. and they hate that shit. she always finds me and says hello, asks me how things are going, compliments me on my sales and so forth and so on. and they are across the front end turning green. it means good things for you when the big big boss-lady likes you according to my big big boss. so wednesday, i'm going in there and i'm going to start doing my inventory and i'm going to smile and say hello and good morning and pretend like i didn't hear a word boss said today. and i'm going to keep my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open and i'm going to take charge of things that i have been letting them handle for me, which is obviously not working. and i'm going to be the best goddamn team leader they ever fucking saw. and all four of them can dry up and blow away for all i care. when i move up and on to better things later on i will have to remember to thank them for being such backstabbing bitches because it helped kick me in the ass and do a better job. but beyond the fact that i'm mad, i am still hurt. and it sucks too, that this morning i had respect for four of my coworkers that i liked and looked up to for help and guidance in becoming a better team leader. and this afternoon, that all disappeared. i lost all respect for all of them. and i'll never get it back. well, i'm off to bed. i got the first and second anita blake books out of the library today and as soon as i finish those i am going to get the third and fourth and so on until i've read them all so that i can read the newest, which is released tomorrow but it has actually already been on the shelves at books a million for three days for some reason, and know what the hell is going on in the story. i think i was queen of the run on sentance tonight. oh well, it happens to the best of us i guess. :P oh, and i almost forgot, i found this really cool (in a childish weirdo kind of way) site today thanks to irishblueyes this evening and i spent close to an hour playing with it. try it out. if i could figure out my screen cap thingy then i would post some of the ones i made. but i can't figure it out and it's too late and i'm too tired so i give up for now. and thanks kathy for the sweet cheap pop in your diary today. love ya and have a safe trip tomorrow evening. and don't forget, i want pictures, especially of venice! ((hugs)) well, i'm gone, at least tomorrow isn't monday. toodles 12:17 am - 28 Sep 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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