usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on again off again on again okay first of all let me start by saying i am truly disgusted by all the people who voted for this weeks american idol. jennifer voted off? are you people insane? she was only one of the top 2 best contestants on there. and john stevens gets to stay again? i'm honestly starting to think that he sold his soul to satan in order to win because how else would he still be there? okay, sorry. it's over now. every once in a while i have a compulsive urge to watch reality tv but i try to control it. and i rarely discuss it lest everyone find out that i sometimes watch it. but i just had to get that off my chest. so yeah. not a lot going on in life. seeing a counseler again. i may have mentioned that already, but oh well. she's very nice. my last session i sat there and cried through the entire thing. i spoke maybe 10 or 15 words through it all. but i felt enormously better when i left despite the fact. i think it was the fact that she allowed me to sit there and cry without me having to feel ashamed or embarassed made me feel better having just got it out. sometimes i just need to cry. i try my hardest to keep it in and not cry at all but then it kind of sneaks up on me and bursts out and if i do it at home i get "what's wrong with you?", "what the hell are you crying about?", "you always were a damn crybaby." and so on and so forth. and if i do it at work, which i did 7 times last wednesday alone, it embarasses me even more and people think i'm weird. i kid you not, my supervisor came to me last wednesday and said, "are you ready to go on break?" and i burst into tears. that's the kind of shit that makes me feel like i'm losing my mind. probably makes other people feel that way too sometimes. lol so yeah, less than a month to go to the suz's big day. i'm excited for her and so very happy. i haven't spoken to her in quite a long time but i love her and miss her. (((hugs evil twin))) so i guess that's it. i need to get ready to head off to my appointment so that i can come home and take the bug to her doc's appointment this afternoon. she has to have her third distemper shot and get her next heartworm pill. she does okay at the vet's but the shots make her sick so i know already that this evening will be bad for her. but she has to have them. better for her to be sick for less than 24 hours than have something serious happen. so i'm off. ____________________________________
do you like bread?
10:32 am - 22 Apr 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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