usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tired wenesday what to say what to say... had my last weekend with the kids this past weekend. of course, my last time with them and all three of them act liked their possessed by a friggin demon. *shrugs* figures right? of course, you'd figure maybe if they acted horrible and completely and totally stressed me out it might be easier for me to say goodbye. well, it wasn't. i took sierra and drake home on my way to visit my dad sunday and it took me forever to get sierra off of me. she kept hugging me and kissing me and telling me that she loved me and making me promise that she would see me soon no matter what. she was told that daddy and i would no longer be living to gether because i had to go live with my parents because my daddy was sick and needed my help. being a daddy's girl herself, she accepted this explanation instantly. of course, she then made the statement, "well, you'll still be daddy's girlfriend won't you? that's just the way it is." yeah, try telling your daddy that babe. sierra doesn't remember her parents together before me. maybe a little bit but not much. she remembers that they used to fight but most of her memories are since jeff and i've been together. she says she remembers where daddy and me and mommy all used to live together. lol by that she means the apartment that jeff and jennie lived in when they seperated. she remembers it that way because jennie was there with them during the day so they didn't have to pay a babysitter but for a few hours in the afternoon, then either daddy or i picked them up and took them home. daddy and i were there when she went to bed and jennie was there when she woke up. it's just kind of funny to hear her describe it that way. so i voluntarily worked a double yesterday. sixteen hours straight on your feet is not good. the paycheck will be good, but the pain in my toes is not. i went in at eight in the morning and worked until midnight. then i got home and didn't go to sleep until like three. so i am getting ready to go back to bed for a few more hours. still don't know when i'm moving exactly. hell, jeff still doesn't even know where he's going. i am so tired of this let's never make a plan for any-fucking-thing. i mean shit, he decided like three weeks ago that he wanted to move yet he can't be bothered to figure out where he's going to live. it drives me nuts. he says as long as i have a place to go that's all that matters to him. aw, how fucking sweet. things have gone well between us since i made my decision. of course, still haven't mentioned it. how exactly do you bring something like that up anyway? oh, excuse me, by the way, after i move in with my parents and you go god knows where, i think we shouldn't see each other for a while. well, duh. how the hell are we supposed to see each other anyway? i figure i'll just wait and see what he does. how much effort he puts into things when we're apart will tell me a whole lot. well, i'm tired and i have to do some cleaning and stuff today before i go to work so i guess i'm going to go lay back down for an hour or two. later. 7:59 am - 18 Jun 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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