usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13 days... well thursday is apparently a very busy day for people to update their diaries. this is about the sixth time today i've tried to make an entry. i guess people are making their plans for the weekend and such. well, some people. so i looked around last night for like 2 hours and could not find a layout that i liked to replace this one. i guess i'll just keep looking. i want to get back into learning my code and stuff and make one myself like i used to. i'm just so out of practice. it's a miracle i even remember how to underline and such. lol this is my 301st diary entry. and so many of them have been wasted on venting about my pathetic life. i'm so glad that i've moved on from all of that. i'm really proud of myself in case you hadn't noticed. lol it's been a long time since i felt this good about myself so sorry if i tend to go on about it a bit. it's so nice to be able to be online whenever i want and write emails and make diary entries without having to worry that someone is going to want to go to bed and kick me off or come in and be nosy and read over my shoulder. it's so... refreshing is the only word i can think of but i'm not sure that's the word i really want to use. so my mom took me to see the new harry potter movie the other week. i liked it. i had a hard time at first seperating the movie from the book because of course they had to leave so much out but it was a really good movie. you can tell immediately that it's been done by a different person from the first two. it was much more artistic than the others. it's also much darker, all in all it's as if the movies are "growing up" with the characters. so i don't think i ever mentioned that i've kicked one of my addictions recently. and no, i haven't quit smoking. i did however stop drinking mt dew. finally. well, mostly stopped. i had one today. none yesterday. of course i had a killer headache yesterday which of course was my body's way of saying hey you idiot we need some mt dew! but i ignored it and just took some advil and downed another glass of water. i've been drinking apple juice lately like it's going out of style. i didn't even realized that i liked apple juice that much. *shrugs* the things you learn about yourself... so it's fixing to storm. it's been lightening for almost an hour now, practically non-stop. i haven't heard any thunder until just a minute ago. it seemed to be mostly heat lightening. now i think it's going to be nice little thunderstorm. the perfect way to go to sleep. i'll get my baby bug and we'll curl up under the covers and watch the lightening out our window and listen to the thunder and rain hit our window and snuggle and fall asleep. god, i am so glad i am sleeping again. lol a few months ago, at the height of my most recent depressive event, as it's called, i was sleeping about an hour and a half a night. if that. there were several occasions where i went four or more days with no sleep at all. that alone can make a person suicidal. but i'm sleeping again and i haven't thought about killing myself in a good two months or so and i don't even want to think about it again so i'm working my hardest to make sure that things never get that bad again. i just have to take care of myself and i'm finally learning how. after taking care of other people for the majority of my life it's about time i figured out how to take care of me for a change. well, the thuder has hit and bug is already burrowing under the covers so i must be off. she had her last puppy shot today and she'd feeling a bit out of sorts. toodles. 10:02 pm - 17 Jun 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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