usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oh, by the way... well, i think i have figured out how i feel. of course i'm sad, heartbroken really. (one day i'll tell you all about my grandma lillian) i'm also angry at my family. it took me a while to recognize that i was angry. i am one of those people who pushes down their anger and hides it, until one day it errupts in the face of an innocent bystander. since i tend to hide my anger as soon as it begins, i'm not one hundred percent sure what it feels like to be angry. but i'm figuring it out. of course when i brought it up to my mom and dad last night and i was like why didn't anyone ever tell me that grandma lillian had died over two years ago? my mom was like i did. um, no, you didn't, it's kind of something that i would remember. then she set in with the excuses. #1: i lived with jeff and she didn't talk to me much. (because she never called me and when i called her all she did was guilt trip me for the entire time we were on the phone so i didn't call often either because talking to her made me miserable) and #2: daddy was sick. which he was. this was shortly before i moved back in and he went in for his transplant. he was extremely ill at the time so it could have easily slipped their minds. but still. i mean, how do you forget that? *shakes head* i'll talk to cathy about it tonight. being unfamiliar with anger i'm not sure that i'm doing it right (lol) and now that i'm feeling it, what do i do about it? happy monday. toodles. 9:23 am - 11 Apr 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||