usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- first day of winter i am once again bored with my layout. while i love the layout in general, the picture is great and the quote sums up my life in four simple words, the colors have been bothering me for a while now. they are too, well, they are just too, blah. i want some color in my life. hell, i need some color in my life. also, the links area and such just leaves a little to be desired for me. and so, i will now once again begin the search for a template that i love and that screams "i am cindy!". but i won't be doing it today. i still have several things from sunday's honey do list that i need to get done. and i am planning to not be late for work today. no matter what. ah, but let's not kid ourselves shall we. how often do i actually plan to be late? yeah, that's a never. so, we shall see. yesterday jermaine and i looked some things up and i tend to be late three or four days. out of five. i am on my final warning. that means i could potentially be fired for being late to work. that would be bad. yes, my tardyness is in part due to my insomnia and my depression and anxiety disorders. but i have to take control of this. it is a fact that my medication isn't working worth a shit for me anymore and i'm probably wasting thirty bucks a month to even get it filled, but i can't get in to see the doc until feburary at the earliest so that is not a problem that is going to be fixed right away. that leaves only one solution. i have to take control of this myself and do something about it. i'm not sure yet what it is that i need to do but i do feel slightly better now that i have decided i will stop just letting this happen to me, i will take over it and i will happen to it. (i promise, i haven't been reading any new age self-help books even though i know it sounds like i have) i just know that i have to take control of what happens in my life and stop letting my life happen to me. of course, life is still random, it still happens however it happens, but as long as there are some facets that i can control, i need to get off my ass and start taking care of business. so with that said, even though i'm pretty sure i sounded vaguely crazy, i'm off. toodles edit: in an effort not to offend any of my dear readers whom i love and cherish beyond words (because i am an attention whore lol). i don't have anything against the previously mentioned self-help books, new age or otherwise. and have been known to read them on occasion. actually, i have several that i need to add to my booklist. there are many out there that you read and you say oh my god! that makes perfect sense! and suddenly that lightbulb over your head glows bright and the world suddenly looks new. then there are those that i've read that make me wonder why in the name of mike did anyone even bother killing those poor helpless trees to publish this piece of garbage. so, there you go, my stand on self-help books. sorta. toodles 12:19 pm - 21 Dec 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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