usmcsis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i will now interrupt your regularly scheduled program i have an announcement. *clears throat* everyone ready? yes? okay. i have decided that fallon is my lesbian girlfriend. i haven't mentioned it to her yet, so, fallon, you are now my lesbian girlfriend. there, i mentioned it. i seem to have this weird vibe that i put out that attracts lesbians and old men. i can't seem to attract a nice, stable, working thirty year old man, but i've got lesbians comming out of my ears. i may have mentioned this in the past. anyway, so, yeah, fallon is my girlfriend now. considering the fact that she is only twenty, which makes me a cradle robber, she lives completely on the other side of the country from me, we've never met, and, oh yeah, neither of us are in fact lesbians, i predict that this relationship will last longer than any other i've ever had. not to mention that it will provide me with a convient excuse everytime i get hit on by a crusty old man or some manly looking woman. "oh, dinner and a movie, sorry, my girlfriend would be pissed." actually, they never ask me out for dinner and a movie, for some reason, they all just cut to the chase and tell me they want to scrump me. today, i actually had two, count them, TWO, old men offer to set me up and pay my bills if i'd scrump them. hello! is the word prostitute written across my forehead and i'm just unaware or what? and two in one day, what is that about? and why couldn't one of them have been a hot, independantly wealthy thirty year old with no kids and no wife huh? are my standards just too high? i don't think that wanting a man who has a job, a home, a car, no wife, preferrably no kids, (since i've been there done that and it hurts) and little to no outstanding debt (or outstanding warrants for that matter) is too much to ask. apparently i'm wrong. apparently my wonderfully magnetic personality attracts only men over fifty with less than half their teeth in their head and women who shave their heads and carry their wallets in their back pockets. every once in a while i get hit on by an attractive lesbian, meaning a lesbian who is a girl lesbian, not a man lesbian, (i'm sure you know what i mean) but since i'm pretty girly, it's the dude-girls that tend to be attracted to my sparkling personality. so, you can all be jealous now, cause fallon's mine and she's hot. except i kind of have to share her with juggy since she's been "engaged" to him for like four years now. but i'm sure he won't mind. toodles 10:37 pm - 17 Dec 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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